Recap to Reinforce

Recap to reinforce

Following an intense session of sharing thoughts and emotions people are often feeling vulnerable and raw, so it’s not usually a good time to go back over the same ground immediately.

However once everyone has had some time to relax and settle down, say a day or so.  Its not a bad idea to suggest and hopefully start a  recap relating to the discussion, this can then become a vehicle for summarising the issues and any related actions or resolutions that’s have been agreed to help moving the issue forward.

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Being Brave

Being brave or making that leap of faith

The only thing tougher than accepting ownership of our thoughts and feelings, is sharing them with other people. It takes guts to open up and lay yourself vulnerable to others.

It’s also easy to fall into a habit of trying to second guess another person’s reaction to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

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Mind Reading

Mind reading in relationships

Let’s be totally up front and honest about this, the ability to read minds is not a prerequisite for any relationship, however based upon the behaviour exhibited towards others by many people it seems there’s a tendency to assume that it is. Alas mind reading is a bit of a lost art and rarely to be found in us lesser mortals, so we have to approach this need to know about our partners thoughts and feels via communication.

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Listen to hear

Listen to hear, not to respond

Communication is the very life blood and foundation of a good and solid relationship, but it comes in two parts.

  1. Expressing our thought and emotions to others so they can better understand
  2. Listen to what others, so we may better understand them.

It’s sad to say that the latter part is often neglected, because we only listen to respond and often fail to hear or understand.

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A bad Friday

A bad day, not

Normal I like Fridays, but yesterday was definitely an exception.

My 9 year old daughter was knocked of her bike by a car on the way back from school. She escaped with a few scrapes and bruises which was good. I’m so glad we’ve made her wear a fully face downhill style helmet. It saved her chin and face from sliding along the road.

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Talk, don’t judge

Human behaviour - talk don't judge

When we are in the middle of a heated debate, it’s tough to stay objective, especially when it’s about behaviour and starts to feel like a personal attack.

We all have to accept that unfortunately people are not perfect and that includes us, our partner(s) or partner’s partner(s). We are all by our human definition creatures ruled and driven by our emotions.

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In defense of polyamory

I book marked this piece for a repost many months ago. It struck a deep cord with me, take a look and see what you think…

I would like to make something very clear. Polyamory was not the direct cause of the dissolution of my marriage. It was an indirect cause. It ignited a fire in a relationship that was already fract…

Source: In defense of polyamory

Other peoples shit

Other peoples shit, it burns

It’s time for another communication post and this one can be a very unpleasant experience.

“Other peoples shit”

As if dealing with our own emotion state is not enough, on top of that we have to also navigate our way through or around other people’s emotions and their less than perfect ownership.

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Drama Llamas

 

The drama llamaDo you know how to spot a drama llama?

Do you know exactly what  a drama llama is?

Well for those not familiar with the term it’s commonly defined as a person who randomly throws their own personal dramas on others, in the same way that a llama randomly spits.

“Oh no, here comes the drama llama! I haven’t finished cleaning up from the last time they spat their drama on me!”

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