Communication Aftercare

Communication aftercare

Talking open and honestly can be tough and painful at times, especially when sharing something that’s really hurting or you’re on the receiving end of some person home truths.

Even if people are using the best communication skills stuff can still really hurt. So when the dust starts to settle looking after all parties in the dialogue is extremely important.

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Being Brave

Being brave or making that leap of faith

The only thing tougher than accepting ownership of our thoughts and feelings, is sharing them with other people. It takes guts to open up and lay yourself vulnerable to others.

It’s also easy to fall into a habit of trying to second guess another person’s reaction to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

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Mind Reading

Mind reading in relationships

Let’s be totally up front and honest about this, the ability to read minds is not a prerequisite for any relationship, however based upon the behaviour exhibited towards others by many people it seems there’s a tendency to assume that it is. Alas mind reading is a bit of a lost art and rarely to be found in us lesser mortals, so we have to approach this need to know about our partners thoughts and feels via communication.

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Breaking the ice

Back to work post it note

I have completed the first few months of my new contract and it’s been very different from pretty much anything else I’ve done in the last 20 years.

I’m back in a business suit for the first time in over ten years, which has been a bit of a shock to the system along with really early starts.

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New milestone

insecurity will destroy you written on a chalk board

Today is going to be interesting, it’s a new milestone within our relationship. She is off to meet someone she’s been chatting with for a while. Not really a date, just a toe in the water.

Something I’ve learned since make the move into polyamory, you have to let people navigate their own path and try new things.

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Jealousy – Face the facts

Envy versus Jealousy

No matter how good you or your partners think you are at being open and polyamorus there is bound to be a time that you feel jealous.

The key with jealousy is not avoiding or denying it, but dealing with it when it arrives. Don’t ignore it, don’t shut it away in the back of your mind, it will grow.

Talking about jealousy is extremely important because it matters. It will affect everyone in the relationships.

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Say goodbye to the V word

Ban the vito

Nothing else seems to have quite the same destructive potential as the dreaded ‘V’ word.

It’s the equivalent of a tactical nuke when deployed in a relationship. Just the threat of it can be enough to curb unwanted or undesirable actions and behaviour. But here lies the problem, launching this relationship weapon often blows everything apart. That’s the nature of going nuclear.

So maybe, and this is just a possible suggestion…(so please don’t getting to annoyed about it) we should ban the veto and replace it with something else. Let’s all wave a final goodbye to the V word, no one should really feel the need for veto power if they are safe and secure about their own place in the world and relationships.

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