Who needs agency?

Free to live and love

Been an interest couple of months for me and all because my partners are spreading their poly wings. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s a key part of why we all chose to identify as polyamorus.

However deciding to test the dating water requires a little more thought than usual if you’re poly, especially if you already have existing relationships.

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Polyamory, a flag of convenience

Polyamory flag

I’ve noticed resently that the term polyamory is being used by some parties as a way of trying to make cheating seem okay. In short, this makes me really angry.

Polyamory for me is about being honest and truthful with anyone I wish to engage in a relationship with.

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Communication Aftercare

Communication aftercare

Talking open and honestly can be tough and painful at times, especially when sharing something that’s really hurting or you’re on the receiving end of some person home truths.

Even if people are using the best communication skills stuff can still really hurt. So when the dust starts to settle looking after all parties in the dialogue is extremely important.

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Being Brave

Being brave or making that leap of faith

The only thing tougher than accepting ownership of our thoughts and feelings, is sharing them with other people. It takes guts to open up and lay yourself vulnerable to others.

It’s also easy to fall into a habit of trying to second guess another person’s reaction to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

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Mind Reading

Mind reading in relationships

Let’s be totally up front and honest about this, the ability to read minds is not a prerequisite for any relationship, however based upon the behaviour exhibited towards others by many people it seems there’s a tendency to assume that it is. Alas mind reading is a bit of a lost art and rarely to be found in us lesser mortals, so we have to approach this need to know about our partners thoughts and feels via communication.

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Breaking the ice

Back to work post it note

I have completed the first few months of my new contract and it’s been very different from pretty much anything else I’ve done in the last 20 years.

I’m back in a business suit for the first time in over ten years, which has been a bit of a shock to the system along with really early starts.

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New milestone

insecurity will destroy you written on a chalk board

Today is going to be interesting, it’s a new milestone within our relationship. She is off to meet someone she’s been chatting with for a while. Not really a date, just a toe in the water.

Something I’ve learned since make the move into polyamory, you have to let people navigate their own path and try new things.

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Jealousy – Face the facts

Envy versus Jealousy

No matter how good you or your partners think you are at being open and polyamorus there is bound to be a time that you feel jealous.

The key with jealousy is not avoiding or denying it, but dealing with it when it arrives. Don’t ignore it, don’t shut it away in the back of your mind, it will grow.

Talking about jealousy is extremely important because it matters. It will affect everyone in the relationships.

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