Communication Aftercare

Communication aftercare

Talking open and honestly can be tough and painful at times, especially when sharing something that’s really hurting or you’re on the receiving end of some person home truths.

Even if people are using the best communication skills stuff can still really hurt. So when the dust starts to settle looking after all parties in the dialogue is extremely important.

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Being Brave

Being brave or making that leap of faith

The only thing tougher than accepting ownership of our thoughts and feelings, is sharing them with other people. It takes guts to open up and lay yourself vulnerable to others.

It’s also easy to fall into a habit of trying to second guess another person’s reaction to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

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Mind Reading

Mind reading in relationships

Let’s be totally up front and honest about this, the ability to read minds is not a prerequisite for any relationship, however based upon the behaviour exhibited towards others by many people it seems there’s a tendency to assume that it is. Alas mind reading is a bit of a lost art and rarely to be found in us lesser mortals, so we have to approach this need to know about our partners thoughts and feels via communication.

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Listen to hear

Listen to hear, not to respond

Communication is the very life blood and foundation of a good and solid relationship, but it comes in two parts.

  1. Expressing our thought and emotions to others so they can better understand
  2. Listen to what others, so we may better understand them.

It’s sad to say that the latter part is often neglected, because we only listen to respond and often fail to hear or understand.

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Other peoples shit

Other peoples shit, it burns

It’s time for another communication post and this one can be a very unpleasant experience.

“Other peoples shit”

As if dealing with our own emotion state is not enough, on top of that we have to also navigate our way through or around other people’s emotions and their less than perfect ownership.

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Drama Llamas

 

The drama llamaDo you know how to spot a drama llama?

Do you know exactly what  a drama llama is?

Well for those not familiar with the term it’s commonly defined as a person who randomly throws their own personal dramas on others, in the same way that a llama randomly spits.

“Oh no, here comes the drama llama! I haven’t finished cleaning up from the last time they spat their drama on me!”

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Negative feelings

Owning one's own shit

In my initial post on the subject of “owning one’s own shit” I briefly touched on the need to take personal ownership for the current state of our emotions.

For us to take on this responsibility, we need to first accept that it’s okay to feel what we feel and this is where negative feelings come into the equation.

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Communication, communication, communication.

hieroglyphics - good communication skills

This is a good mantra, it isn’t just about poly, it’s about communication within any relationship.

Many of us have never really learned good communication skills as we grow up and many more of us have developed what can only be described as bad communication habits as we get older. So it’s first important to understand what good communication should look like and take action to break our bad behaviour habits if we truly wish to grow.

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Breaking the ice

Back to work post it note

I have completed the first few months of my new contract and it’s been very different from pretty much anything else I’ve done in the last 20 years.

I’m back in a business suit for the first time in over ten years, which has been a bit of a shock to the system along with really early starts.

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