Relationship Micro Management

Relationship Micro Management

It’s been shown within business that micro management is a guaranteed way to lose a companies best and  most talented employee’s, so why employ the same micro management approach to our relationships?

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Don’t talk, just listen.

Rick and Carl sitting on the church steps

I was watching an episode of The Walking Dead on the train while on my way into work.

The main character Rick gave his son a single piece of advice and it’s a good one.

“Don’t talk, just listen, it’s a rule for life.”

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I don’t mind…

Sorry love, I don't really care

I was having a late night catch up call with one of my partners after a couple of really busy days and the conversation was flowing really well until I asked for some input into a decision or at least some indication of direction. I was greeted with a simple answer of “I don’t really mind”. This pretty much cut the conversation dead and really annoyed me for some reason, so I went to sleep wondering why.

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Relationship killers

Man with a knife in a stabbing pose

There are four major relationship killers out there on the rampage. They come in many disguises, but will reap destruction where ever they go if left unchecked.

1. Personal Criticism

“What is your problem? Can’t you do anything right!?”

Complaints are a natural and normal part of healthy relationships. We should all be able to discuss a specific complaint with a partner and reach some sort of agreement.

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First poly post of 2018

2018 - happy new year

This is my first poly post for 2018 and I’m really not sure what to write about on this dark, cold and wet morning.

I’m on the train on my way down to London for the week and awaiting the arrival of my breakfast (eggs benedict). I didn’t travel down on Monday due to a threatened strike by the rail union. I suspect the unions and rail companies could do with some lessons in communication based upon what I’ve read about the dispute.

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Recap to Reinforce

Recap to reinforce

Following an intense session of sharing thoughts and emotions people are often feeling vulnerable and raw, so it’s not usually a good time to go back over the same ground immediately.

However once everyone has had some time to relax and settle down, say a day or so.  Its not a bad idea to suggest and hopefully start a  recap relating to the discussion, this can then become a vehicle for summarising the issues and any related actions or resolutions that’s have been agreed to help moving the issue forward.

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Communication Aftercare

Communication aftercare

Talking open and honestly can be tough and painful at times, especially when sharing something that’s really hurting or you’re on the receiving end of some person home truths.

Even if people are using the best communication skills stuff can still really hurt. So when the dust starts to settle looking after all parties in the dialogue is extremely important.

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Being Brave

Being brave or making that leap of faith

The only thing tougher than accepting ownership of our thoughts and feelings, is sharing them with other people. It takes guts to open up and lay yourself vulnerable to others.

It’s also easy to fall into a habit of trying to second guess another person’s reaction to your thoughts, feelings and actions.

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