Breaking the ice

Back to work post it note

I have completed the first few months of my new contract and it’s been very different from pretty much anything else I’ve done in the last 20 years.

I’m back in a business suit for the first time in over ten years, which has been a bit of a shock to the system along with really early starts.

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New milestone

insecurity will destroy you written on a chalk board

Today is going to be interesting, it’s a new milestone within our relationship. She is off to meet someone she’s been chatting with for a while. Not really a date, just a toe in the water.

Something I’ve learned since make the move into polyamory, you have to let people navigate their own path and try new things.

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Let the compersion flow

Okay so it's complicated

I must admit I’m have a bit of a tough time at the moment, I’m finding myself to be very time poor again. This always places a strain upon a relationship and perhaps more so with two.

It’s even more difficult right now, because there is one hell of a lot of change going on within each of those relationships.

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Daily Poly Mantra

Polyamorous mantra

  1. I deserve love.
  2. My body is sexy just the way it is.
  3. I ask for whatever I want and say no to whatever I don’t.
  4. I turn difficulties into opportunities for growth.
  5. Each new connection expands me.
  6. I contain all I need for a life of delight.
  7. Sex is a beautiful expression of my loving nature.
  8. I am on my personal path to ecstasy.

Above all, remember it’s about Love, Honesty and Communication.

Jealousy – Face the facts

Envy versus Jealousy

No matter how good you or your partners think you are at being open and polyamorus there is bound to be a time that you feel jealous.

The key with jealousy is not avoiding or denying it, but dealing with it when it arrives. Don’t ignore it, don’t shut it away in the back of your mind, it will grow.

Talking about jealousy is extremely important because it matters. It will affect everyone in the relationships.

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The bastion of monogamy

Consensual non-monogamy or CNM

It’s very true that monogamy remains one of the last unquestioned bastions of relational legitimacy, or at least in the minds of many couples’ or mainstream marriage therapists.

This is not really helped by the natural pro-monogamy bias found with many therapists and is not an accident. In the majority of conventional counseling programs, therapists-in-training are taught that monogamy is important and should be protected and so the problems begin.

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It’s been a year…

I woke up this morning to a notification from WordPress – it’s been a whole year!

WordPress one year anniversary

I’ve also taken a snap shot of the blogs stats, while I’ve found rather surprising too.

WordPress first full year stats

I’d just like to say a big thank you to all those who have visited, liked and commented during the past year.

I’m looking forward to what the future brings.

TK

Say goodbye to the V word

Ban the vito

Nothing else seems to have quite the same destructive potential as the dreaded ‘V’ word.

It’s the equivalent of a tactical nuke when deployed in a relationship. Just the threat of it can be enough to curb unwanted or undesirable actions and behaviour. But here lies the problem, launching this relationship weapon often blows everything apart. That’s the nature of going nuclear.

So maybe, and this is just a possible suggestion…(so please don’t getting to annoyed about it) we should ban the veto and replace it with something else. Let’s all wave a final goodbye to the V word, no one should really feel the need for veto power if they are safe and secure about their own place in the world and relationships.

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