It’s complicated…

Okay so it's comp

I’ve found myself using the phrase “It’s complicated.” quite a lot in the past few months, because it’s true.

There’s lots going on in my life at the moment and I can’t help feeling that most of it is really beyond my control.

Continue reading “It’s complicated…”

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Perfect Poly Pals

polyamory

I’ve decided to pitching my tent and hoist my flat in the ‘wow, poly rocks ‘ camp these days.

“Why?”

Basically, I’ve discovered that monogamy is not the only way. The idea of finding ONE person to love forever, yes just ONE person, FOREVER seems insane! In fact this has always seemed slightly… well wrong, it also feels a little antiquated/old-school.

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Monogamy and Us

It’s interesting looking around in the mainstream media these days and seeing more and more talk about nonmonogamy.

You see endless articles about hookups, no strings attached sex and f*CK buddies. It does make you wonder if society is finally starting to challenge monogamy as the norm.

Don’t get me wrong, I also believe in commitment. I’ve been with my wife since 2000 and married to her since 2004, but now days I’m just not convinced that commitment has a to be to a single person.

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What is “New Relationship Energy”?

Polyamory in the sandI’ve found myself today thinking about what exactly is “New Relationship Energy”?

When does NRE actually start?

Is it during the very first the interaction?

Is it after the first few days of frantic chatting or maybe longer?

What type of interaction does it require, a phone call or maybe a face-to-face meeting?

Then it really got me thinking, it’s more than that, it’s a mental state brought about by our own hopes, dreams and desires.

So is NRE a good or bad thing?

Continue reading “What is “New Relationship Energy”?”

The garden rake

Treading on the garden rakeAvoiding past mistakes has become very important to me in the last few weeks. I don’t wish to tread upon the proverbial garden rake again if I can avoid it.

Learning from our mistakes is very important and helps us to grow as people. So many of us fail in this area and then find past history being repeated.

Taking ownership of our mistakes is a fundamental part of being poly. I’ve heard it described in many ways but the term that keeps coming up is “Owning your own shut”. Seems like quite an apt description when you think about it.

I’ve been having some really good chats recently and they have really got me thinking about how to get things right.

Only time will tell if the self discoveries I’ve made will make a difference, but I really hope they do 🙂

Monogamy is all about sex

  

I do like blog posts like this that give me pause for thought, you sometime have to actively look for a new perspective on life. It’s an interesting and unique view on the whole concept of ‘Monogamy’.

“Monogamy is often built off of some basis of forced restraint and/or lying, often, this is not done purposely, but if you like someone else as well as your partner, you can’t say so.”

Polyamory by its nature gives a person to ability to be open and truthful about there personal wants, needs and desires. That change of mindset can be a bit of a surprise, but the rewards for all parties are quite profound.

Learning to care about more than one person at a time is tricky, there is no one right way to do it. Any book or article needs to be treated as insight rather that fact, there are no true manuals that is something we all have to work out for ourselves.

Take a look at the following post and make your own mind up.

Source: Monogamy is all about sex

Setting a Relationships Rent

Setting relationship rent

A while back an ex-poly-partner posted a very good piece that she’d had permission to publish by its original author. It’s all about the concept of paying rent within a relationship – “Always pay your rent”

It’s really good, hence I refer to it again and start thinking about the subject once again.

Following the break up I  later wrote a post on Rent control – “Rent Control” It’s all about how the rent can increase as a relationship develops and sometimes however the level required can become prohibitive. I wish to make it completely clear that this is not meant as an attack, purely an observation. We all decide what we want, need and desire, we are all responsible for placing a value upon the our relationships and love.

Then it occurred to me that I have never really thought about how you set and agree what the rent level will be and the form it will take. So this evening I’ve decided to put metaphorical pen to paper (fingers on keys) and look at this subject a bit more.

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Three’s a crowd in a place like this

I’ve been saving this for a reblogging for a few days. I always like catching up with what’s been happening. Take a look, have a read and like it 🙂

“Tonight’s our last night in Pretty Beach and it’s been so amazing we’re contemplating coming up here on a regular basis… if we can reign in our Sydney socialising and the as…”

Source: Three’s a crowd in a place like this

Ready, steady and date

polyamory-dating-ready

Feeling alive again, time to get on with my life and it’s a good one.

I’ve learned so much in the last year about who I am and what drives me to be poly.

Underneath my hard outer armoured shell I’m a soft soul and driven by my emotions.

I sometimes come across as emotionally detached but that’s just my natural defense mechanism. When someone gets inside that hard outer case they get to met the real me.

Continue reading “Ready, steady and date”