The male unicorn

The male unicorn

As I’m sure you are aware, there is a concept within modern sexual culture about unicorns.

This term is generally used to describe an attractive, bisexual, single woman (who isn’t too crazy and likely to become a bunny boiler), and who would be delighted to join a couple for a threesome with no strings attached.

That combination, while not being impossible is extremely difficult to find. Hence the term unicorn is applied because they are basically a rare and mythical creature.

You may have noticed lately that there appears to be another class of individuals that women are lamenting doesn’t really exist and has been similarly labelled.

The title of “unicorns” can now also be applied to men that are between the ages of 35 and 60. They need to be attractive, smart, professional, successful, confident, heterosexual and ideally still sexually potent, they should also be looking for a long term, committed and monogamous relationship.

These illusive creatures are the “happily ever-after guys”.

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Dear new poly couple

Couple kissing - Dear New Poly Couple

Dear new poly couple,

Glad you’ve found us and welcome to the amazing new world of ethical non-monogamy and polyamory.

It’s probably a bit exciting right now, maybe scary, definitely exhilarating, somewhat tense, majorly thrilling, and many other word that you can’t possibly think of right now.

So take your seat on this new emotional roller coaster, climb aboard and fasten your seat belts, keep your arms and legs inside the carriage at all times.

I would guess you’ve probably already talked about what you want as a couple, which is great, you’ve begun laying down some ground rules that are carefully designed to make sure that each of you are both comfortable and your relationship is safe.

You may have even dipped your toe in the water already with a few threesome’s or something more, excellent!

So now, you’re all set to go out together as a couple and find a bisexual woman to join your terrific relationship, someone who’ll love both of you and just be what you both need. Right?

No, not really…

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Educating Unicorn Hunters

Unicorn Hunter's

I still find utterly amazing to see the number of would be ill-informed “Unicorn Hunter’s” attempting to dip their toes in the waters of polyamory and wondering why they get savaged. I try very hard to explain to them why it’s generally received as negative within polyamorous circles.

This is more often then not greeted with either surprise or hostility. Most have never really thought beyond their own personal needs and desire to protect their own primary relationship.

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Male Unicorn Rules

Male un

I just read a post on Reddit from a young gay guy who’s considering entering into a relationship with a married gay couple.

Unicorn hunter alarm bells started going off as soon as I read it. He’s very new to Poly and in my view likely to be taken advantage of if he’s not careful.

Unicorn hunting is mostly male/female couples, but some themes of dating a gay couples are similar in my view. 

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Unicorn Hunters Again


Elmer Fudd - it's unicorn hunting season

I understand that unicorn hunting is never going to go away, but I’m really getting quite amazed at the lack of thought or effort going into some of the attempts to bag one of those mystical beasts.

Given the chance and mathematical odds against locating such a creature you’d at least expect some amazing creativity, care and attention to have been lavished upon these profiles and ads.

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Rarer than the unicorn

fear-of-flyingI was driving home this evening listening to the radio as the miles crawled by. I’d just left the services on the final leg and a radio adaptation of a book called “Fear of flying” started.

I have since found out a bit more about it and discovered that it was responsible for coining term phrase “Zipless fuck”,  which is defined in the following way.

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The Unicorn Hunting Assumption

unicorn-in-the-sunHow do you write a dating profile as a poly person when you have a significant other?

Is it actually possible to avoid the unicorn hunter assumption?

I started thinking about this problem quite a bit and considered loads of different wordings but nothing ever seemed to eliminate this issue completely.

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What is a Male Unicorn…

An interesting concept came into my mind and took root earlier today…

“How do you define a ‘Male’ unicorn and do they exist?”


So what constitutes a male unicorn…

  • Is it just a single bisexual male?
  • Is it a single male joining an existing Female-Female couple?
  • Is it a single bisexual male joining an existing Male-Male couple?
  • Is it a single bisexual male joining a Male-Female couple?
  • Or maybe even a straight male joining a Male-Female couple?

At this point my head almost exploded…

I find the whole idea of a male partner being called a ‘unicorn’ quite hysterical 🙂

Then I though about it some more, maybe ‘unicorn’ is not really the right word, perhaps the term ‘horse’ would be more appropriate, because it’s sort of like a unicorn, but rather common and overall a bit mundane; another viable description might be just plain ‘lucky ‘. 

You to may have also noted that the number of ‘unicorn hunters’ actively seeking a male, cis or trans third party is generally quite rare.

I then turned my attention to the Urban Dictionary, it did not disappoint;

Unicorn Men

Unicorn Men YEW-ni-CORN MEH-n

1. A kind of man that, because of his conditions, cannot do certain things, but can do certain others.
I: They flip their hair often, because they were unicorns in their past lives. Unicorns prefer to have their glorious horns clean and shined, so they do not like hair on it.
II: They enjoy tackling each other, especially in front of females, because that was how unicorn males used to attract their mates.

III: The Unicorn Men cannot PWN, which is derived from the word OWN. This is because PWNing requires a strong spirit. Though Unicorn Men appear strong for their female interests, they are truly very gentle and slightly wimpy.

IV: Surprisingly, Unicorn Men actually can attract females very easily. Scientists have been struggling for years with how this is done.

V: Unicorn Men are always not the brightest. Humans are the most evolved, because it was a long way to come from apes, but Unicorn Men somehow evolved into human form from unicorns. So, they are not the brightest, because though unicorns were pearly white and beautiful, they were also very stupid.

I hope you leave this post enlightened or at least laugh.