Bit of a mile stone

Polyamorous mantra

I’ve been a bit wrapped up in real life for the last couple of months and not really been in the mood to write or post much.

However, I did notice today that the blog now has over 300 followers world wide, which is quite amazing – thank you.

It’s not the reason I started this blog or something I set out to achieve, but your support is really appreciated.

So I would like to give something back to you all.

For the month of December, I’d like to reblog posts from anyone of you who cares to share. Just add a comment to this post and a link to blog post you’d like to have rebloged. Please also include a bit about your blog and why you’re here.

I looking forward to sharing your thoughts in the coming month.

Regards

TK

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Exploring Polyamory

Many hearts and loves the polyamorus way

The decision to potentially explore Polyamory as a couple, is a very daunting one when it happens. 

However, much of the current research suggests and tends to agree that a couple has a very good chance of being able to make the adjust to nonexclusivity if at least some of the following basic pre-conditions exist:

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The dimensions of compersion

Compersion is something we all have to learn to practice, but understanding what it actually is, can be almost as hard as trying to develop it.

Lets look at the formal definition of this amazing word

“Compersion is an empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy, and the term is often used within the context of polyamorous relationships.”

It is generally used to describe when a person experiences positive feelings when a lover is enjoying another relationship

I read an interesting blog post of the idea that compersion is comprised of THREE key facets, the Intellectual, somatic and erotic.

I think we can all learn a lot from this concept and makes a lot of sense for me personally.

Compersion is a tough ides to get your head around when you first encounter it as a concept, but breaking it down into these easily definable chunks makes it far more manageable.

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Sweet and innocent

I am sweet and innocent - honest

poly friend of mine shared a recent conversation that he had with one of his partners and it made me smile, so I’ve decided to share it with you.

Partner: I’m sweet and innocent!

Spark: Sweet I will grant you, you’re lovely. In what way are you innocent?

Partner:

Partner: I’ve never had sex with more than 5 people at once.

Spark: <smirk>

There may have been high-fiving…

When Two Tribes Go To War

 

Us and them - when two tribes go to war

I’ve been spending a bit of time recently reading and following varies threads on poly discussion groups and forums.

I’ve noticed a few things about the poly community which I’ve found quite interesting

“polyamory is loving however/whoever makes you happy … as long as you aren’t unicorn-hunting, don’t operate a OPP, etc”.

From my perspective I can identify two relatively clearly defined tribes based upon the way they react to simple questions on forums and I’m going to try and define them.

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Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships – CNM

Consensual non-monogamy or CNM

It seems that finding romance, love, and sexual intimacy is a central part of our life experience for most people and although people engage in romance in a variety of ways, alternatives to classic “couple/dyad” are largely overlooked in relationship research to date.

Now scholars and the media alike have recently started to argue that the rules of romance are and relationships are changing, suggesting that interest in consensual departures from monogamy may become popular as people navigate their long-term coupling.

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Poly gone mad

Poly family car sticker

My girlfriend is travelling down to see her family and noticed this set of family stickers in the back of a car in front.

Conclusive proof that big poly families are alive and well in the UK.

I actually miss my big poly family from my first venture into polyamory. I miss the kids most of all. It’s something you never really think about until it’s gone.

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“Giving” and “Taking”

 

Beautiful view and table for two - give and take

The concept of “give” and “take” is perhaps the  corner stone of any good relationship and even more important within a polyamorus one.

It is often hard to not jump to unfounded conclusions or play out worst case scenarios in our heads that breath life into our own personal green eyed monsters and demons.

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Why are you polyamorus?

Many hearts linked via a chain showing many loves

I’ve recently been involved in an interesting discussion about why people consider themselves or have a need to identify as polyamorous.

I noted that many of the comments and statements echoed those found in various works about the subject of ethical non-monogamy, but nothing really fresh, new or insightful. I was about to give up reading when I stumbled upon the following statement.

“Because I don’t need to own my partners body to feel secure in my relationship. A relationship shouldn’t be the end of the game, it should be the start of 2 player mode.”

I generally agree with what it has to say, but I’d like to take the liberty of modifying it slightly

Continue reading “Why are you polyamorus?”