Who needs agency?

Free to live and love

Been an interest couple of months for me and all because my partners are spreading their poly wings. Now there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s a key part of why we all chose to identify as polyamorus.

However deciding to test the dating water requires a little more thought than usual if you’re poly, especially if you already have existing relationships.

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It’s been a year…

I woke up this morning to a notification from WordPress – it’s been a whole year!

WordPress one year anniversary

I’ve also taken a snap shot of the blogs stats, while I’ve found rather surprising too.

WordPress first full year stats

I’d just like to say a big thank you to all those who have visited, liked and commented during the past year.

I’m looking forward to what the future brings.


The male unicorn

The male unicorn

As I’m sure you are aware, there is a concept within modern sexual culture about unicorns.

This term is generally used to describe an attractive, bisexual, single woman (who isn’t too crazy and likely to become a bunny boiler), and who would be delighted to join a couple for a threesome with no strings attached.

That combination, while not being impossible is extremely difficult to find. Hence the term unicorn is applied because they are basically a rare and mythical creature.

You may have noticed lately that there appears to be another class of individuals that women are lamenting doesn’t really exist and has been similarly labelled.

The title of “unicorns” can now also be applied to men that are between the ages of 35 and 60. They need to be attractive, smart, professional, successful, confident, heterosexual and ideally still sexually potent, they should also be looking for a long term, committed and monogamous relationship.

These illusive creatures are the “happily ever-after guys”.

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Compersion for my wife


I love my wife and girlfriend

Last night my wife had a second date and by the sounds of it, it went really well.

She had a good time and it seems like lots of talking went on most of the evening.

I find myself walking a fine line between trying to maintain a suitable level of distance, wanting to be supportive and needing to make sure that’s she’s okay.

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Enough love

As a person I hope to be loved as much as I love others, because for me the world can be filled with enough love and happiness for all of us to share if we are good to each other.

However for some inapplicable reason, we can’t easily know what true love and happiness are unless we can first embrace ourselves and accept who we are.

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Exploring Polyamory

Many hearts and loves the polyamorus way

The decision to potentially explore Polyamory as a couple, is a very daunting one when it happens. 

However, much of the current research suggests and tends to agree that a couple has a very good chance of being able to make the adjust to nonexclusivity if at least some of the following basic pre-conditions exist:

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Time apart

Dragonfly and kitten

One of the toughest issues to deal with from my perspective is having time away from both of my partners.

First let me try and put this into perspective based upon how my personal situation and setup works.

I currently split my time between working down upon the south coast of England near my girlfriend and weekends up with wife and kids in the Midlands.

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The dimensions of compersion

Compersion is something we all have to learn to practice, but understanding what it actually is, can be almost as hard as trying to develop it.

Lets look at the formal definition of this amazing word

“Compersion is an empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy, and the term is often used within the context of polyamorous relationships.”

It is generally used to describe when a person experiences positive feelings when a lover is enjoying another relationship

I read an interesting blog post of the idea that compersion is comprised of THREE key facets, the Intellectual, somatic and erotic.

I think we can all learn a lot from this concept and makes a lot of sense for me personally.

Compersion is a tough ides to get your head around when you first encounter it as a concept, but breaking it down into these easily definable chunks makes it far more manageable.

Continue reading “The dimensions of compersion”