New milestone

insecurity will destroy you written on a chalk board

Today is going to be interesting, it’s a new milestone within our relationship. She is off to meet someone she’s been chatting with for a while. Not really a date, just a toe in the water.

Something I’ve learned since make the move into polyamory, you have to let people navigate their own path and try new things.

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Jealousy – Face the facts

Envy versus Jealousy

No matter how good you or your partners think you are at being open and polyamorus there is bound to be a time that you feel jealous.

The key with jealousy is not avoiding or denying it, but dealing with it when it arrives. Don’t ignore it, don’t shut it away in the back of your mind, it will grow.

Talking about jealousy is extremely important because it matters. It will affect everyone in the relationships.

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That Compersion Feeling

When someone else happiness is your happiness that's love and compersion

Today has been a really interesting day for me, work was fairly boring but a call with my wife this morning has been a bit of a potential game changer for her.

During our early morning catch up call she asked if it was okay if she went on a social date with someone she’s been communicating with online.

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Travelling Companions

Envy versus Jealousy

“Jealousy vs Envy”

Quite often the two emotions travel together and it’s important to understand which is which and then why it’s occurring so you can then work out how to deal with it.

Here’s a really important question, when you think you feel jealous is the feeling generated purely by the idea that a partner is together with another partner or the thought that you are not providing that happiness your partner feels?

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Compersion for my wife

Poly open heart and compersion

Last night was a really interesting evening, while I was travelling down south for work and to see my girlfriend, I had a long chat with my wife.

She asked me if it was okay if she did a phone call with someone she’s been chatting with via email and IM, I should add I was already aware of this person and it’s not an issue.

I was actually really happy she asked and even more happy to say yes. She’s had a tough week with post holiday drop and work, so it seemed like a perfect distraction.

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What is compersion?

Compersion and joy

What is compersion?

Well generally it is a word directly used by the polyamorous community to describe the feeling one gets from their partner(s) being happy with another partner(s).

I get the feeling of happiness when I know that whilst my partner is away he is with his girlfriend and that he is happy.

However, there can be times where I get lonely. This can then cause my brain to start to wander into the realms of jealousy, but truly at heart I’m not jealous that he is with his lover, it’s the fact that I am alone.

Jealousy as I have previously mentioned in another post, can also be a force for good things, because being jealous means that you care about the other person and that there are still feelings there. – The good thing about demons.

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You Fought Demons

This is one of those blog posts that you read and file away for a later reblogging or visit. 

I like the way that the author makes their point.

We all have demons of some type and it’s how we choose to deal with them that really matters.

What if as a kid, you used to battle demons around you, fighting them to not let them inside because you were given a clear message, they aren’t good. But as you grew up you saw everyone had…

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Envy VS Jealousy

Envy versus JealousyI find the whole concept of envy versus Jealousy quite an interesting concept.

It is perhaps easier to mistake the two emotion then I had previously considered especially when thinking about what happens between a partner and a metamour.

As always communication is likely to be the key, because both emotions often stem from our own Insecurity and can easily be protected inadvertently on to those we really care about.

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