In defense of polyamory

I book marked this piece for a repost many months ago. It struck a deep cord with me, take a look and see what you think…

I would like to make something very clear. Polyamory was not the direct cause of the dissolution of my marriage. It was an indirect cause. It ignited a fire in a relationship that was already fract…

Source: In defense of polyamory

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Other peoples shit

Other peoples shit, it burns

It’s time for another communication post and this one can be a very unpleasant experience.

“Other peoples shit”

As if dealing with our own emotion state is not enough, on top of that we have to also navigate our way through or around other people’s emotions and their less than perfect ownership.

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Drama Llamas

 

The drama llamaDo you know how to spot a drama llama?

Do you know exactly what  a drama llama is?

Well for those not familiar with the term it’s commonly defined as a person who randomly throws their own personal dramas on others, in the same way that a llama randomly spits.

“Oh no, here comes the drama llama! I haven’t finished cleaning up from the last time they spat their drama on me!”

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No one makes us feel

No one else can make you feel

This is the third post in my communication series and probably likely to be considered a little contentious. That’s not a problem in itself and I hope that it makes anyone that reads it think twice about how an emotional feeling develops inside us all.

Emotions are sometimes simple and other times mixed up and extremely complicated. What they all have in common is their source. All emotions come from within us and are driven by a combination of social conditioning, past experience and our own personal natural view, perspective and inclinations.

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Negative feelings

Owning one's own shit

In my initial post on the subject of “owning one’s own shit” I briefly touched on the need to take personal ownership for the current state of our emotions.

For us to take on this responsibility, we need to first accept that it’s okay to feel what we feel and this is where negative feelings come into the equation.

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Communication, communication, communication.

hieroglyphics - good communication skills

This is a good mantra, it isn’t just about poly, it’s about communication within any relationship.

Many of us have never really learned good communication skills as we grow up and many more of us have developed what can only be described as bad communication habits as we get older. So it’s first important to understand what good communication should look like and take action to break our bad behaviour habits if we truly wish to grow.

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Breaking the ice

Back to work post it note

I have completed the first few months of my new contract and it’s been very different from pretty much anything else I’ve done in the last 20 years.

I’m back in a business suit for the first time in over ten years, which has been a bit of a shock to the system along with really early starts.

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