Cowboys and Cowgirls

Cowboys and Cowgirls on the fence

I’ve personally used the term Cowboy or Cowgirl to describe a person who is monogamous that attempts to get romantically involved with someone who openly identifies as polyamorus.

There often unknown and underlying intention for their new love interest is to effectively try and “cut them out of the herd”. By this I mean persuade them to see the error of their polyamorus ways and cease all existing relationships and embrace the only true relationship path of monogamy.

I must admit this term is not meant as a compliment in anyway, shape or form.

From our cowboy/girls perspective dropping their metaphorical lasso on to the wandering heart of a lost soul is the stuff of legends or cheap romantic literature, it might even be worthy of a song or two.

But this situation does beg the question: Why the hell would a happy go lucky polyamorus person get romantically involved with someone who is clearly monogamous in the first place?

Surely it’s pretty clear that if you’re poly and you’re involved with someone who’s not, once the NRE starts to cool down and reality begins to set in, every single relationship problem that occurs from that point onwards  will somehow come down to “you’re still seeing other people”.

It’s such a shame that so many monogamous people sincerely and unfortunately mistakenly think they’d be fine with dating a poly person and can handle it, some even see it as a challenge…

Many fail to grasp the fundamental change that’s about to happen, by dating a polyamorus person they have themselves become polyamorus and the rules of relationships have changed with that first step.

So be warned all would be cowboys and cowgirls, you may get pulled off your horse and dragged if you try and rope the wrong long horn.

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