It’s time for another communication post and this one can be a very unpleasant experience.
“Other peoples shit”
As if dealing with our own emotion state is not enough, on top of that we have to also navigate our way through or around other people’s emotions and their less than perfect ownership.
The truth is that none of us can really control someone else’s feelings, emotions or actions. We can ask, beg, scream, shout or try to create and enforce rules, but at the end of the day we only really have control over ourselves and this is where it needs to start.
I’d love so say there’s a magic trick, silver bullet or special approach to getting others to recognise, analyse and take full responsibility for their emotions, but this is unfortunately not the case.
The best advice and guidance I can provide is as follows:
- Lead by example – Own your own shit, no one else will.
- Know yourself – You are the only expert on you, no one else is qualified.
- Don’t argue – let other people own their own shit, they are their own person experts.
- Be positive – say “Yes” and avoid “No”, it’s simple communications technique which really helps.
- Acknowledgement is good – let people know that you understand how hard it is to share emotions, especially when they are negative. Say “thank you for being strong and telling me that”
I know that I’ve already said “Don’t argue”, but sometimes it’s the only way to clear the air. I can see a whole post on that subject appearing here in the not too distant future.