In my initial post on the subject of “owning one’s own shit” I briefly touched on the need to take personal ownership for the current state of our emotions.
For us to take on this responsibility, we need to first accept that it’s okay to feel what we feel and this is where negative feelings come into the equation.
At some point we will all experience negative feelings, whether is anger, jealousy, rage, fear, loss, envy, or distrust, it doesn’t really matter which.
What we need to do is acknowledge and accept all emotions, both positive and negative as natural. The reason for this approach is simple, if we start thinking that something is not okay it leads us down a path of shame, blame and outright denial. I’m sure you’ll agree that none of these avenues can be considered to be a part of a healthy or helpful coping strategy.
By taking ownership of our emotions we also avoid the next potential devastating detonation in our own personal emotional mine field, which is when we start telling ourselves that we shouldn’t have such feelings and should in fact be feeling something completely different. This action by it’s very nature tends to turn into a self inflicted form if internal emotion torture with a constant stormy flipflop and dialogue being endlessly played out. “I should be happy” or “I shouldn’t be feeling jealous”, “I know they love me, so why am I scared?”
It is probably best to just accept that emotions and thought are part of life’s rich relationship tapestry for you and use it as a positive learning experience to understand ourselves more deeply. It’s amazing the level of peace this can provide. It’s okay to feel, it’s okay to have negative thoughts and emotions, it’s okay to face them and become a better person.
So embrace you negative emotions, don’t suffer them because taking one for the team is never a good idea, it breeds contempt and hate.