What can you do when someone you love decides they aren’t poly?
This is a situation that I’ve read about many times on various blogs and forums. It seems to occur on a regular basis when an existing couple decide to try opening up their existing relationship and it just doesn’t work out for one of the parties.
The impact of this change of mind can be truly profound for all parties involved and the subsequent emotional eruptions that it causes can shake the very foundations of their worlds.
It’s even tougher when this situation is fuelled by personal insecurity, self doubt and various forms of the green eyed monster of envy.
Polyamory should never be about replacement, it’s about enhancement. Learning to let go of your personal over possessive feelings is a very hard and important lesson to learn, it’s the first step towards that feeling of joy you can experience from starting down a path to understanding and embracing compersion.
I don’t claim to have all the answers or profess to be a grand master of compersion, but I’m learning.
Some people even judge me and are welcome to their own personal opinions, but it doesn’t make them correct or true. Who are they to judge me and by what right?
All I know is that polyamory is a part of who I am and most probably part of who I’ve always been. I just needed someone to shine a light upon it and then take the first steps.
It’s not easy to undo years of social brainwashing, but I like what I’ve found and I’m glad I’ve chosen this path.
We all change with time and sometimes those changes create situations we never expected and force decisions to be made we could never have envisaged occurring in the past.
I am personal at one of those cross roads in my life at the moment and I will take responsibility for my own actions, decisions and own my own shit. I just hope other people are capable of doing the same, because if they don’t they have no one else to blame… Wait a second yes the do, because they can’t take responsibility and own their own shit.
Some people have issues and will never learn.