The decision to potentially explore Polyamory as a couple, is a very daunting one when it happens.
However, much of the current research suggests and tends to agree that a couple has a very good chance of being able to make the adjust to nonexclusivity if at least some of the following basic pre-conditions exist:
- A positive and commonly held view by each partner on the concept of non-monogamy in general
- A desire by both partners for the existing relationship to remain
- The existence of a suitably sized reservoir of good will within the relationship
- A lack or at least minimal level of lingering resentment caused by past hurts and betrayals
- No polarized view of monogamy/non-monogamy
- All parties are feeling both powerful and autonomous
The direct discussion of the following issues can also provide help in forming the basis for an open, honest and important initial dialogue:
- Openness versus secrecy
- Volition and equality versus coercion and inequality
- Clarity and specificity of agreements versus confusion/vagueness
- Honoring agreements versus violating them
- How each partner views non-monogamy in general
It’s basically about engaging together as a couples in conversation that enables you to decide for yourselves if the concept of sexual exclusivity or nonexclusivity can be defined as functional or dysfunctional for your relationship.
Above all be, honest, open and truthful. Taking one for the team to make it work is never a truly viable option and liable to cause major issues in the future.