Privilege is a daunting subject at the best of times, no matter how good you think you are at practising equality.
“What is Privilege?”
A “Privilege” in it’s simplest form, is a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group that hasn’t normally been specifically earned.
It would in fact be very possible to write a whole series of books on this subject and how it impacts our carefully crafted poly relationships.
Just using the word “Privilege” can be perceived as an accusation, a poly failing or even promote feelings of personal inner guilt.
“What’s the reason for this?”
Because when we all set out with well meaning ideals of being open with each other, our aim is often to practice equality, yet the whole concept of benefits and advantages that haven’t been earned is a truly an uncomfortable one, it pulls down our dreams and good intentions.
So privilege, especially couple privilege, is a always going to be around. It will most likely appear in most polyamorous relationship at some point, to be played out in some fairly unpredictable and screwed-up way.
“What can we do about it?”
We can either;
Accept that sometime privilege is going to exist and concentrate on fairness rather than equality.
Try letting go of privileges and entitlement, so we can instead concentrate upon building relationships with people who we trust and if given free rein will make good decisions with our best interests at heart.
Not a simple or easy choice.
Source – More than two – Couple Privilege