Why are you polyamorus?

Many hearts linked via a chain showing many loves

I’ve recently been involved in an interesting discussion about why people consider themselves or have a need to identify as polyamorous.

I noted that many of the comments and statements echoed those found in various works about the subject of ethical non-monogamy, but nothing really fresh, new or insightful. I was about to give up reading when I stumbled upon the following statement.

“Because I don’t need to own my partners body to feel secure in my relationship. A relationship shouldn’t be the end of the game, it should be the start of 2 player mode.”

I generally agree with what it has to say, but I’d like to take the liberty of modifying it slightly

Statement 1:

A good clear statement but seems a bit limited, additions shown in bold

“Because I don’t need to own my partners bodies or minds to feel secure in my relationships.”

Statement 2:

A great way to describe the way a relationship can evolve, but still needs a few tweaks

“A relationship shouldn’t be the end of the game, it should be the start of multi player mode.”

i’m rather happy with this, makes loads of sense to me and helps define how I feel about polyamory, but still missing my personal favourite

“Polyamory is about personal choice, freedom and self determination. It gives me the ability to show my love openly for the people I care about and share that love without fear.”

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9 thoughts on “Why are you polyamorus?

  1. I am, we are, polyamorous because Nature made us this way, I mean we three specifically. No doubt others can say the same. We’ve talked about “why” over the years, but it always boils down to, this is the happiest that any of us have ever been, EVAR; and there is that sense of, we are just starting on this road together, although it’s five years on. To quote the Elevators:

    “Every day’s another dawning, give the morning winds a chance / Always catch your thunder yawning, lift your mind into the dance / Sweep the shadows from your awning, shrink the fourfold circumstance / That lie outside this house as you pass by”

    Lyrics from “Slip Inside this House” by Tommy Hall and Roky Erickson, 1967

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a fabulous post, Takate. I make a deliberate effort to learn as much as I can about the evolution of life, love, personal choice and power.

    I found my core needs/desires very early in life and they continue to serve me quite well. However, what works for me does not work for those I love and admire.

    Being a mother/sister/aunt/grandma/friend to a host of souls and a defender of personal freedom; I work feverishly to learn and understand other’s life choices that I may serve my loved ones in an unconditional manner.

    Most I’ve run across have insisted on denigrating my life choice as part of defending theirs. You do not and I thank you. This is a voice I can learn from; a message I can share with others. Much love to you and yours 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I saw this shortly after it appeared and was delighted by what you wrote. I wanted to think through what I might say, and not post “on the run.” Our WordPress, “We come from dreams” will feature posts by one of the three of us. We’re big on “you may believe whatever you want to believe,” and all due respect included. We’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but we are here as much to learn from others, as to present our own thoughts. So I will cordially invite you to take a look around; and I shall certainly investigate your Word Press once I post this. We’re not here for followers, or to follow others. It’s more like: in the past, Taoist monks would pass each other on the road, and sit and chat a while – then each be on their way. May all that is good go with you.

      Roy (speaking for Sara and Ceannt as well)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. YESSS!!! That’s the way love flows and that’s the way this old bird grows. I will most definitely check your site out and appreciate the invitation.

        Liked by 1 person

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