I still find utterly amazing to see the number of would be ill-informed “Unicorn Hunter’s” attempting to dip their toes in the waters of polyamory and wondering why they get savaged. I try very hard to explain to them why it’s generally received as negative within polyamorous circles.
This is more often then not greeted with either surprise or hostility. Most have never really thought beyond their own personal needs and desire to protect their own primary relationship.
If I’m lucky about one in five that I engage with come away from the dialogue with a better understanding.
The toughest point to get across is that the third party that they all seek is likely to have their own set of wants, needs and desires.
Many totally fail to understand that polyamory is about forming and building relationships, not dating one. This is not to say that it’s not possible, but triads, quads and network structures take time, effort and lots of open, honest communication.
So if you come across Unicorn Hunter’s try to help them understand that maths is basically against them and people are not just toys to be played with and disposed of when the going gets tough.