I made a decision a long time ago to not have my own children. As a young woman when I have voiced this decision it is generally met by a range of responses “you’ll change your mind”, “it’s different when they are your own”, “you’ll never know true love until to have children” and many more.
I could make a bingo card with all the cliché responses I have heard over the years.
However, not wanting my own off-spring doesn’t mean I don’t want children in my life. Polyamory has offered a new way for me to achieve this without them actually being mine.
I spent this past weekend with my boyfriend and his two minions (his name for them not mine) as his wife/my metamour was away and he wanted a hand to look after them.
Frankly I was terrified of the idea (though thinking back I’m pretty sure I offered my help…) I’ve never spent much time around kids, even when I was a child I hated being around other children, but this weekend turned out to be really lovely, albeit crazy, hectic, noisy etc.
Being new to polyamory, this is one of the benefits I never really thought about. I love my boyfriend, I care for my metamour and their kids are a huge part of their lives. Having the opportunity to spend time with them, watch them grow up and be around to lend a hand makes me extremely happy.
I have no idea what the future holds for all of us, but polyamory has opened up a new path for me which I had never before considered. I’m actually looking forward to spending more (short periods of) time with the kids and the family as a whole. It makes me feel like a part of something wonderful.