Making a call…

Relationship breakers

No one ever said that polyamory is easy, in fact it very hard because you have no room for complacency or apathy if you wish to maintain your relationships.

But what happens when a partner considers dating or starts dating someone you either have reservations or concerns about?

I would add that this is not a situation that I have come across yet, but like anything in this world if it can happen the likelihood is that it will at some point.

At the time I guess it will just have to be a judgement on how it will be handled.

The following blog post discusses such a situation and is definitely worth a read. It provides valuable insight into how such a position can be played out and it conclusion.

Any comments or further insight would be welcome as always.

“Today I asked Special Man Friend not to pursue anything with someone who is really making me uncomfortable.  I went back and forth about it.  Was it a veto?  Was it unreasonable? Was I just being a big poly baby?”

Source: ~Needs~

8 thoughts on “Making a call…

  1. As a kid, I’d had a couple of boyfriends with whom I indulged a good deal of sex. This was back in the early 1960s and at that time it was literally worth our lives if we’d gotten caught. We didn’t, thankfully! But as I got into my later teens, I felt an enormous amount of social pressure to find a girl. I had no problems with girls per se, I found them just as arousing as guys. The difference then was, guys were more than willing to get into bed, girls weren’t. I didn’t understand that girls were under a similar social situation: no sex before marriage, you have sex to have babies, or you’re going to Hell, etc. And so I eventually got married and had kids; then I left for another woman. She was adventurous and had been in threesomes before. After some time I met a guy and fell head over heels for him. We probably could have consumated our lust (with or without her), only, she didn’t like him because he was misogynistic; so reluctantly, I backed away from him. He was, umm, especially “gifted” physically, which I had been looking forward to experiencing. It didn’t take long before we’d attracted another guy who liked us both. Or so he said. One thing led to another and voila, “it’s just the three of us!” and I had my first taste of manhood since I was sixteen. Only…….he REALLY liked her, liked her more than me, and I got squeezed out totally. I moved out and man, let me tell you, my heart got broken like I was a school girl. That was a valuable lesson in how (American) men treated women generally and I took it to heart, but at the time I spent a good month or so crying myself to sleep at night.
    I used to think that polyamorous relationships were always going to be a total crap-shoot, but if you keep your senses and heart open, you’ll meet wonderful people. The trio I’m a part of is MFM and we have occasional ‘fourths’ – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    By the way, I had ordered this great book from Amazon about poly love before we took our vows with Ceannt and only got around to reviewing it a couple of weeks ago. If you’d like, you can read about it here:

    Liked by 2 people

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