What is compersion?
Well generally it is a word directly used by the polyamorous community to describe the feeling one gets from their partner(s) being happy with another partner(s).
I get the feeling of happiness when I know that whilst my partner is away he is with his girlfriend and that he is happy.
However, there can be times where I get lonely. This can then cause my brain to start to wander into the realms of jealousy, but truly at heart I’m not jealous that he is with his lover, it’s the fact that I am alone.
Jealousy as I have previously mentioned in another post, can also be a force for good things, because being jealous means that you care about the other person and that there are still feelings there. – The good thing about demons.
What we all have to watch out for is that our jealousy doesn’t get a chance to take us over and a good way in which to do this is to be open and honest about our jealousy. Telling your partner or partners that you are having a bad time, telling them that you are feeling jealous. Then taking the time to identify what made you feel jealous and why. You then can then find a way for this to be converted into a higher level of compassion. Receiving understanding and care from the people around you about experiencing the jealousy. This in turn helps you discover how much they can help and support you.
I find myself having this situation quite often with my partners current partner, as we all agreed that we would tell each other when we felt jealousy or when we are feeling low and need a little extra support and love.
Knowing that this is there then triggers that automatic response and compersion for the other partner who is feeling like that so I want to help them to put their own demons back in the box.
I also feel compersion when they are back with my partner, as I know that this then crushes those demons. I am happy that my partners presence makes them happy too, this then in turn makes me happy.