Today my old friends came back to play, I have not had them visit for such a long time.
They crept slowly back in uninvited and unwelcomed, they tore at my soul, pulling chunks out of my heart, whispering deep within my brain, planting the seeds of rotten decaying ideas, which seep into my blood.
I feel as it hits my heart, the stabbing sick feeling to the pit of my stomach as those seeds take root within my brain planting those wicked thoughts.
Memories of what has passed before flash before my eyes, is history going to repeat itself I ask?
I stop a moment and think, do I want history to repeat itself? The answer of courses is no.
Then this time it shall be different, I am the mistress of my own destiny, so I shove my demons back into the box from whence they came and slam the box shut.
And I realise, but this time it will be different, why?
Because it’s not same person, this is new, this is something different, this person is different and I cannot hold what has gone before against them. I shall not tarnish them with the same brush.
So I lower my drawbridge to allow them into my life.