What is “New Relationship Energy”?

Polyamory in the sandI’ve found myself today thinking about what exactly is “New Relationship Energy”?

When does NRE actually start?

Is it during the very first the interaction?

Is it after the first few days of frantic chatting or maybe longer?

What type of interaction does it require, a phone call or maybe a face-to-face meeting?

Then it really got me thinking, it’s more than that, it’s a mental state brought about by our own hopes, dreams and desires.

So is NRE a good or bad thing?

I suspect it is in fact what ever we decide personally to make of it, perhaps an inner need to make a connection and communicate. Maybe it’s our natural defences being lowered so we can show our inner selves to another person or maybe our hope for something new and exciting.

Either way, it exists, it’s real and it raises us up to a higher level of being open and honest if we choose to accept it as the gift that it can be.

It’s about sharing information about ourselves, learning about another person and trying them on for size. Discovering what you have in common and if you like each other.

The duration of this period is dependent upon a whole raft of factors and defines how the relationship develops. It can be highly influenced by our own expectations and those placed upon it by all parties involve as it changes with time. It can disappear in seconds or climb ever higher as we expend more personal energy driving it forward.

For me personally, NRE takes a form of longing for the next contact, anticipating the interaction and soaking up the all information freely given. I then feel a need to respond in kind. It inspires within me new thoughts and brings further insight into what it is too be human and what I really want, need and desire as a person.

All relationships under go this phenomena and  if that initial connection is sparked into life, it will start to build into a meaningful relationship. What form that relationship takes depends on many things, but we have the power to shape it.

However, before we get all consumed by this truly wonderful feeling, it is important to also understand how we can manage this new found energy, so that we don’t get completely washed away by its tremendous strength and totally addictive nature.

Being poly carries with it the additional responsibility of not letting this new explosion of NRE damage our existing carefully crafted relationships. If this can be achieved, I believe it is actually possible to take those relationships and people with us on this new exciting ride. This can be achieved by some as true compersion, that is hidden and dormant in those who truly care about us.

So enjoy riding the wave, but keep in mind those who could be left behind or drowned in it wake if it’s not managed wisely and allowed to run wild.

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4 thoughts on “What is “New Relationship Energy”?

  1. Oh yeay! Thank you for writing this. As always, I love getting a peek into your mind, it’s a good one sunshine! I had a little bit of an issue with NRE with another relationship, and started feeling a little left in the dust. It can be tricky in poly situations for sure. I feel like it may be a little bit easier following the path that I’m following now in terms of relationships (more wide open relationship anarchy, less partnership specified relations), at least for me, it’s seemed to be easier to handle, regardless of level, both for myself and with other people.
    Have a beautiful day sunshine ^.^

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment and my apologies for not replying earlier.
      Life is rather hectic at the moment, but in a good way.
      There should be some interesting post coming up over the next few weeks and months 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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