Since the slow and painful breakup of my year long poly triad I’ve been thinking about all the bits I miss the most.
Top of the list are the three-way snuggles. The art of sleeping with two other people in the bed took quite a bit of practise, the pain and hardship of being sandwiched between the two most important people in my life at the time (excluding the children).
I generally got to be in the middle, perhaps because I was the token male or maybe it just seemed to make sense at the time. Escaping from the centre re in the middle of the night to find the loo, was truly a challenge at times.
We mastered the three person spoon and it rocks! The two heads on my chest double wrap body hug. However, the one I always liked the most, was what we termed the ‘pack pile’, each party finds a suitable position that provided them with enough contact with the other parties, it could be arms touching, a foot contacting a leg or hugging a random arm. What ever worked was just fine and a truly great feeling
I must confuse at times I did find it hard to work out who to hug, but more often than not gravitated to my girlfriend, not for any other particular reason than the fact she was just good to hug and not too warm. My wife also gives great hugs but has a tendency to radiate heat on a level compatible to a nuclear reactor undergoing a total meltdown. Basically she’s too hot to hug for a prolonged period if you really wanted to get some sleep.
Many nights over the last twelve months I found myself alternating between the pair. I never really worked out if I got the hug distribution right. I even tried asking and was told that it didn’t really matter who I hugged or for how long, but I must admit I was never full convinced by these statements. Equality was always a bit of a sore subject.
So all I can say is that sharing a bed with multiple partner’s at the same time is always going to be a bit of a balancing act, but that would not stop me from doing it again in the future.
Any new partners will undoubtedly benefit from what I’ve learned during this failed relationship and reap the untold benefits, especially hugs and the ‘pack pile’. Sometimes proximity is all that really matters, knowing the person is there because they want to.
My SO is going to be away tonight for a work related trip and I’ll be on my own with the kids doing my ‘dad’ thing (movie with popcorn).
So tonight I will have the bed all to myself, but I will miss all the love, hugs and affection I’ve felt there in the past.
I hope that I Dream good dreams as I let go of consciousness and slip into the peaceful, dark slumber that I’ll need after an evening being dad.