I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how and why I find myself identifying as polyamorous. I suspect that it’s in fact always been the case and I’ve gone with the monogamous flow because that’s what is expected.
While I was at university in London in the 90’s, I had numerous open style relationships without really think about it. Usually involving statements like
“I don’t really want to commit to anything, let’s just see where it goes.”
“Let’s just enjoy our time together.”
Many might say ‘that’s just a fear of committing’, but looking back, it was just me being honest and not wishing to make a promise that I knew I couldn’t keep. I was always completely open with my prospective partners about the fact that I wasn’t able to be exclusive to them and didn’t really want to be.
I found that some partners accepted it and went with the flow, while others tried and failed to apply pressure to make it something more unsuccessfully.
I also suspect that my connection with ‘kink’ also had a hand to play in it all, I guess I’m just a natural sensation seeker.
So where does that leave me now… I would say older, more mature and wiser. I only wish that I knew then what I know now.
I truly believe in truth, trust, honest and open communication.
I’m poly and dare to love because it’s what I want, need and desire.