Are you keeping score in your relationships?
If you are, my advice is stop it!
Keeping score will only provide reminders, negative feelings and emotions.
If its a mistake and not really a deal breaker, forget it and move on.
“When a couple start keeping score, there are no winners, just degree’s of losing.”
There’s a number of other really good reasons, to not try keeping score.
- You can’t track everything
- Everyone has a different scoring system
- You may be ahead in some ways and behind in others
- Its not a competition
- Losing focus of the big picture
The basic issue with keeping score is that its a very “self-centred” way of looking at everything. By doing it, a person is automatically setting themselves up above everyone else and if their way up there, everyone else is below them. This then infers that those lower parties are not really “doing enough” to warrant everything that the person is doing for them.
You find that soon people “Don’t love you enough”,”Don’t care for you enough”, “Don’t do enough”, etc.
Its at this point that the “not enough” mindset will begin to spiral into a person seeing their relationships as half-empty and this in turn will start to negatively impact how they feel about their partners.
So, stop keeping score, its not realistic, helpful or healthy.