It starts like a cough a slight tickle in the back of your throat, you cough to clear your throat but before you know it your coughing your guts up and nothing you can do will ease it.
Demons are like that. One minute your fine then suddenly there it is, that random thought. Caused by an action, a word, a look. Your mind starts racing and the voice saying “What are they doing?” , “What are they thinking?”
The list goes on and on. All the time a feeling swelling in the pit of your stomach, you feel sick your head filled with thoughts ideas. Your mind reeling and then there is that other voice in your head which says “you shouldn’t feel like this, be happy for them why shouldn’t they be together”.
You truly think your going to go mad, your going insane by these thoughts and emotions tearing your very being apart.
I know how this feels, because these are my demons, my demons are my jealousy and I know I am jealous because I love. I am no longer afraid of my demons. I used to hide them I let them eat away at me until I became bitter and twisted, or they would pour out in a torrent of bitter spiteful anger.
After much talking and dealing with my demons I now control them by talking and telling my partners how I feel. Explaining what has caused me to feel the way I feel.
What I think has happened or going to happen. I then discover that it is nothing like what my mind has been thinking this is always done with honesty and openness to the point that it hurts, but I would have it no other way